This morning I was up early. I hadn't slept well throughout the night and before five o'clock got tired of waiting for morning and got up anyway. I'm not a morning person. At all. So, I have great difficulty concentrating for prayer or study in the a.m. My husband, on the other hand, finds the morning perfect for his study and prayer. I'm jealous sometimes of that. Today, though, pretty much wide awake, if tired, I decided to take advantage of the still quiet house and go ahead with some prayer and study. I picked up my Stott's Through the Bible Through the Year and read from Week 46: Resisting the Pressures of the World. The scripture reference was II Timothy 3:13-14 and the meditation suggested that the most striking characteristic of the last days was "misdirected love". The devotional went on to discuss the types of behaviors, general lack of concern for others and complete focus on self, that would be prevalent in the last days. Paul, the writer of the letter, two times in the chapter says to Timothy, "But as for you," indicating that Timothy was not to let himself become like the world around him. He was to remember what he had learned and from whom he had learned it and continue in those teachings.
When I was in my twenties, I decided I needed to have my own faith. I'd accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior when I was ten, but as a young adult determined I needed to know why I believed what I believed. I studied hard, using writings that were not necessarily those of my own faith community or even of any faith community at all (I remember specifically consulting a book on feminism) in parallel with Holy Scripture. Some people believe this is a dangerous practice. I am glad I did it. When I closed up the books (excepting the Bible), I put them away for good and the teachings they held never tempted or troubled me again. I was able to say with certainty that the faith I had in Jesus Christ was complete and personal, not just a hand-me-down faith or a family tradition. Yes, I'm very glad I studied. Jesus was faithful to protect me by His Spirit. He knew my heart was to know Him more.
There's a peace in that certainty; a real, deep-seated peace - the one that passes understanding. It's a gift. It is born of holy fear which is the beginning of wisdom. The beginning. Yes, fear and peace co-exist in faith. I stand in awe of Him, overwhelmed by His power, goodness, might, and presence; I am at peace with Him, quiet before Him, resting in Him, following Him.
One of my favorite portions of scripture is just before Stephen was martyred. He had preached the fullness of the gospel to those who should have known it best. Nearing his end, he lifted his eyes up and he saw Heaven.
Acts 7:55-60 tells us: But he, being full of the Holy Ghost, looked up steadfastly into heaven, and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing on the right hand of God, and said, "Behold, I see the heavens opened up and the Son of man standing on the right hand of God." Then they cried out with a loud voice, and stopped their ears, and ran upon him with one accord, and cast him out of the city and stoned him. . .and they stoned Stephen, calling upon God, and saying, "Lord Jesus, receive my spirit." And he kneeled down and cried with a loud voice, "Lord, lay not this sin to their charge." And when he had said this, he fell asleep.
This is the picture of a man who knows what he believes, knows why he believes it, believes it with his whole heart, and is in right fear of God. Stephen's assurance of his salvation allowed him to remain in the Spirit; to see what He would show Stephen; to speak the words God wanted spoken; to remain faithful even under attack; focused on Jesus and the promise of new life in Heaven; and to use his last breath to request forgiveness for those who killed him. Wow.
Stephen followed the twelve who followed Christ and continued in the teachings to his end. Timothy followed Paul and had the advantage (as I did) of having been taught the Word from an early age. He continued to his end. These men's lives were marked with courage, holy fear, and undying peace. Their words were born of love for Christ and love for the brothers and so they spoke directly, but in gentleness. Those in the early church who "shook up the world" did so in the most unassuming ways. They didn't set out to make spectacles of themselves or to "redeem" the icons and traditions of the culture in order to Christianize them. They spoke the truth they knew in their hearts whenever they had opportunity. They were brave when they needed to be brave. They were forgiving, loving, and kind. They instructed with gentleness in the power of the Spirit. They lived quiet lives and shone like cities on a hill.
There is so much to be gained by being still. By meditation and prayer. By quiet living.
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